Lips On: Pop Open A Corkcicle Chillsner For Beer Coolness

1 Comment

The party rages under the blistering sun, and while you really do not want to get out of the pool, you also really do not want your beer to get warm while you soak; the solution . . . take a Chillsner pill.


Sit back and sip from your floaty. Life is good.

You can’t ice the beer now, can you? Corkcicle has crafted the Chillsner to give your life, your every precious sip, the sheer coldness it deserves (unless you are in Europe in which case the beer is supposed to be ingested at room temperature).

You do not have to be a beer connoisseur to know that ice waters down the hoppy goodness and dilutes the delicate draught of deliciousness. Beer mugs can be frozen, but thaw within minutes. And on days when the summer sun beats down in 100-degree heat, the beer quickly boils.


For just shy of thirty bones, two Chillsner devices can insert directly into two beer bottles to provide an hour of uncompromising chillness and double fisting.

The directions are simply to put the Chillsner in the freezer for 45 minutes and sip your beer before inserting it tightly inside.

There is a magic gel that keeps the cool, and I can attest that the beer remains a steady cold for just over an hour.


Now you might ask: why would anyone – in an age of beer pounding and keg stands – need to take their time and relish the sacred tastes of hops for a while?

Well, there are countless scenarios where even the burliest beer drinkers need to nurse the brew: the poker tournament where you stretch one brewsky per hour to watch your friends and combatants drink themselves out of contention as time wears but your sobriety does not; or there is the fearful party scenario where the ex stalks your ass, hoping beyond hope that you will need her to give you a ride home (the solution is to sip the same beer for an hour and get the hell out of their when you sober up).

The Chillsner keeps that beer cold.

Filed Under: Alcohol

One Response to “Lips On: Pop Open A Corkcicle Chillsner For Beer Coolness”

  1. It keeps 1 beer cold for up to an hour OR 4 beers cold for 15 minutes each — step up your game.


Leave a Reply