Never Get Caught Adjusting Again

1 Comment

Kickstarter, the same crowdfunding website that brought the world technology advancing 3d printers, smartwatches, and even virtual reality gaming has officially furthered mankind with the now successfully funded, adjustable men’s underwear by UFM.

adjustable-mens-underwear

What good are all the gadgets in the world if men can’t keep that thing dangling in their khakis from sticking to their legs long enough to play with them? I’m sure that is exactly what creator Eric Schifone asked himself when he sought out to create these patent-pending phallus tamers.

Did you know that men waste upwards of 20 minutes a day adjusting, tucking, and itching their gigglestick? That sounds totally believable even though I just made it up! If it were true, we could say that UMF’s adjustable pouch not only keeps you comfortable but it also saves the world money and increases productivity by keeping things from bouncing around, falling out, and chaffing ever again.

adjustable-mens-underwear-inside-view

What makes this adjustable underwear unique is the ability to adjust to any level of support and comfort, regardless of the user’s level of manliness, by simply cinching and tying the built in drawstring. Does it work? Who knows, but judging by the images, something definitely looks like it’s happening.

UFM-adjustable-underwear-before-and-after

If you’re that type of guy who’s willing to tie things around your clappers or you’re a fan of that Thunder From Down Under stripper look, you can help shape the world of men’s undergarments by pledging anywhere from $18 for a pair all the way up to $250 for the “ultimate package” which includes ten pairs, a follow in Twitter, a shout out on Facebook, and one of the next three future UFM products.

UPDATE: I contacted creator Eric Schifone and asked him a few of the questions I know you were all wondering — needless to say, the man is a good sport.

Q. What specifically was the motivation behind these underwear? Was it a personal issue? A certain sport? Medical condition?

A. “No matter how many types, styles and brands of underwear I tried on I was always adjusting myself – having to tuck anything and everything back into the underwear. When you are walking through the mall with your wife and kids, the last thing you want to do is get caught with your hands down your pants. The intentions don’t look so honest. So my wife finally said, “do something about it.” And UFM was created at that point. Since then, I have NEVER had to adjust myself. I created them for me but decided to make a business out of it and create a pair of underwear that could fit every man.”

Q. What other uses do you see for this technology outside of men’s underwear?

A. “We actually have some great plans for this technology, and even the underwear. But until those patents get pushed through, we can’t give out any hints.”

Q. I don’t want to get too personal but, I would love a Howard-Stern-show-esque answer to whether or not you happen to have a giant penis. Seriously, no one with a small penis needs these underwear… right?

A. “I wouldn’t say I have a huge penis or huge balls, but I am definitely larger than average.  As far as other men who wear the underwear – there are men with huge balls that have a small penis, there are men with a huge penis and small balls, there are men with a huge penis and huge balls and men with a small penis and small balls. The pouch adjusts for all of those types of the men BUT all men need the pouch. Even if you have small balls and a small penis, your balls and penis can get caught in between your legs when you are walking or sitting. The placement of the balls and penis is what is most uncomfortable. The pouch controls the placement, the wearer controls the pouch.

That is perhaps the best thing about this underwear. YOU make the underwear fit YOU.

I hope this helps a little. Let me know if you have any more questions! In this industry, there is no such thing as “too personal.””

Thank you Eric, for my favorite Q&A to date.

One Response to “Never Get Caught Adjusting Again”
  • Rawdog says:

    What if a guy is at work and he gets one of his many unpredictable daily chubbys and these things are cinched tighter than a set of hotel sheets? He’ll be fishing for that drawstring a few times a day just to survive.

Leave a Comment

Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.