Geek Weekly is honored to announce the find of the year in the Shark With Frickin’ Laser Pointer!
For years Dr. Evil (and myself) have searched for a fabled creature.
An animal so terrific and so terror-invoking that an addition of a deadly “laser” would only add to the fear instilled once the black doll’s eyes of the hunter pointed a heated ray at the horrified prey.
Only the likes of PETA and international red tape have been able to prevent the world’s most diabolical doctor of evil from achieving this insidious goal.
Until now . . .
For a mere one million dollars; oh; sorry; for a mere $13 US anyone can buy their very own Shark With Frickin’ Laser Pointer. Yeah, baby, yeah!
Oh wait: Austin Powers be damned!
The product is real.
And as the Shark With Frickin’ Laser Pointer’s packaging says, “It’s way better than an ill-tempered, mutated sea bass.”
This handheld shark has a red laser pointer attached to its head, and there is no stopping to the evil ways to ensnare your cat’s attention and torture it in a frivolous attempt to capture a red beam of light.
I have no idea whether or not it is actually waterproof, though there are images online of people taking it in water.
Either way, for the cost of a hearty burrito, loaded to the gills, the Shark With Frickin’ Laser Pointer is available to join your evil organization.
Just don’t let a difficult Number Two try to talk you into filling your evil dipping tank with mutated sea bass that make dolphin noises and fly through the air (even if they are ill-tempered).
This just made it onto the holiday list.