If you are going to battle with Tyrion Lannister in a winter-long Game of Thrones, then you had better be equipped with an armored warrior that is equal in both cunning and size, as is the kitten Bella of Brash donning Cat Battle Armor.
That’s right, I know of a ruthless and deadly kitty named Bella.
The Lannisters pay their debts until catnip is involved; Golden Dragons pale in comparison to Tywin Lannister’s lust for catnip.
No one, not the incestuous Jaime and Cersei, nor their dwarven brother can figure out how the ruler of the wealthiest realm got hooked on catnip, or why he secretly murdered his wife for hiding it (and subsequently blamed her demise on Tyrion’s birth).
But ever since that day, cats and dwarves were banished from the land.
I lost many men to the fierce Lions’ swords, and it was only when Bella the Brash was born and trained that hope of Spring emerged.
The hand crafted leather, waxed cord, nickel, and silver jerkin and Cat Battle Armor fit Bella, the daring sweetheart of a female knight, perfectly.
Only her wit and spry leaping abilities, of this kitty in full Cat Battle Armor, can defeat the Mountain and all of the Lannisters on the battlefield and retake the throne for my house, the Zombie Banes.
Why are we called the Zombie Banes?
Well, that’s another story altogether, but if you can imagine it, our pointy dragon glass and knight kittens in full shining armor have been burning up the undead and halting the zombie apocalypse north of the Wall for generations.
I found the handmade Cat Battle Armor for Bella on Etsy at a meager $500 (or five golden dragons), and you can outfit your army there too.