The new Phantom Keystroker from ThinkGeek is the latest and greatest advancement in office prank warfare which is guaranteed to drive your unsuspecting coworkers crazy. All you have to do is simply plug in the tiny little circuit board and sit back while it sporadically makes random mouse movements and types out odd garbage text and phrases.

The beauty of the Phantom Keystroker is that it needs no additional software or drivers and it runs on any operating system which means you can be in and out of your target cube in seconds. The stealth like gadget is also equipped with a simple jumper setting that allows you to choose between either keyboard garbage typing, annoying mouse movements or both. You can also turn up the torture level by setting a longer event duration which will have your unsuspecting mark thinking they are losing their minds.

It might be a little late for the perfect April fools prank but, those are way too predictable anyway. For just under 25 bucks you can pick one up today for a boring rainy Spring day.

One thing you can count on every January after the fatted parties of November and December are quite literally under your belt: a deluge of diet and weight loss gadgets and programs. And, every year, the products seem to get a little more… bizarre. Like the Spring-Flex UB, a spring-based (der) exerciser made to clamp onto any desk or table for a quick upper body workout. They’re selling it as a great upper body workout that’s “good for business” — insisting that you can do your exercises at work when you’re on phone calls, between meetings, or taking a coffee break — but we’re calling shenanigans. If you’re on the phone, the last thing the caller needs to hear is you grunting and puffing, or at least deserves your undivided attention for decent business; between meetings you’re probably actually working, which overrides the luxury of hooking your hands into an exerciser and blowing work off; and during a coffee break? Really? How are you meant to actually drink the coffee while exercising? Through a straw?

Still, if you’re worried about your upper body tone and can’t seem to find any time to work it out other than at work, the Spring-Flex UB is available from Gadget Universe for $79.95. Note: this product does NOTHING for the case of the spreading office ass, so don’t forget to get up and walk around every now and again.

Taking passive aggression to new fabulous outcomes, here’s a great alternative to the searing-red standard office stamps tucked away in your boss/secretary’s desk. (Because seriously, if half of those documents stamped URGENT really ever were, you’d be getting paid a lot more to put up with an emergency-only work environment.) Tired of seeing red? Fire back with your own judgments.

Available in three biting phrases — “I haven’t got time to read this CRAP”, “This is F**KING URGENT”, and “Complete and Utter BULLSHIT” — it’s time to level your own assessment and let your boss know what you really think of that 6pm stack of reports that “have to get done by tomorrow morning’s meeting” (really? is that why you were sitting on top of them all week?!) No guarantee that you’ll still have a job the next day, but at $7.95 per stamp, at least it’s cheap enough that you won’t have to worry about cutting into your 401k right after getting handed the slip.

Have you ever been sitting at your computer either looking at or doing something you shouldn’t only to hear footsteps coming up behind you? With the Stealth Switch you will never have to worry about stumbling and fumbling around trying to close applications and minimizing windows in an effort to not get busted ever again.

Stealth Switch instantly and completely hides applications with a simple press of the foot-switch which you cleverly place under your desktop. The beauty of the switch is that the running applications are not just minimized, they are made completely invisible. In addition, you are able to configure the software to leave specified applications open or have them opened if they are not already running them so everything appears as though it is on the up and up.

All you need to cover up your heathenistic temptations or your inability to keep from slacking off at work is a computer running Windows, an open USB port, and twenty five bucks.

I know it might seem like I am slacking lately but, the truth is I am torn in ten different directions with a couple of new projects including SiriusBuzz. I am thinking this new edible gadget might be just what I need to squeeze a little more productivity into my work day.

Rocket Chocolates are a tasty treat with a shot of caffeine that makes a can of soda look like a valium. Each candy delivers a hand twitching 150 mg of caffeine and comes in two appetizing flavors, chocolate mint or dark chocolate cherry truffle. If you need a pick me up at work, the office box of 50 individually wrapped candies will make a great addition to your desktop.

The latest gadget from ThinkGeek, the annoy-a-tron, is sure to drive the most even keeled people nuts. This super sleek 007 like device can be hidden anywhere and has the ability to sound off at 2 kHz, 12 kHz, or alternating beeps every 2-8 minutes. The random timing will be sure to have people pacing around their office ready to pull their hair out looking for the source.

This prank comes ready to use right out of the box. All you have to do is find yourself a mark, then sit back and enjoy the show. Just make sure you do not stick this device under the token crazy, paranoid, conspiracy theory guy’s desk or the next thing you know your office will be on lockdown with the bomb squad ripping up your workplace.

Impress your colleagues by joining up to 5 pieces of paper without any kind of bent metal. No longer will you have to spend any extra coin on staples thus saving your company millions… or maybe a couple of bucks. Either way this little office gadget will allow you to blow peoples minds like David Blaine for under 6 bucks. Don’t forget to stare at anyone that is watching like a creepy zombie while pressing the button and magically joining the paper.

After four years of design the McLaren Formula One Racing team has come up with the ultimate in personalized lounging. If you are sick of constant noise and aggravation the Oculas will allow you to safely and serenely shut out the world with the perfect levels of lighting, sound, seating, and privacy you select. This private relaxation theater is handmade of fiberglass and stocked with advanced audio, visual, seating, and environment technologies, as well as your choice of personal computer. Watch the game on the TV, surf the net, or play your favorite video game all while enjoying a nice message from the custom vibrating leather chair.

Are you sold? If so then grab your checkbook because looking like Mork from Ork is going to set you back a cool $45,000. Larger photos of the Oculas after the jump…

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The Japanese have done it again in creating this head hugger that utilizes acupressure to relax and soothe your problems away. It may look like a medieval torture device but it feels like thousands of tiny fingers simultaneously massaging your scalp. If you are stressed out at work, just strap on the head spa massager and in minutes your tension will melt away, all while giving your coworkers a good chuckle. For 50 bucks you too can have a relaxing massage while looking like a character straight out of the matrix.

Do you have a messy pile of business cards cluttering up your desk drawer? If so then the CardScan is just what you need to organize your business contacts. CardScan will accurately grab contact information from business cards, email signatures, web sites and other electronic files making all of your important contact information accessible from anywhere. The CardScan will also categorize your contacts, search, sort, remove duplicates, print labels, map addresses and much more. This is the perfect gadget to make any business man or woman more productive.